| Unclutter Your Children’s Lives |
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| Written by Administrator |
| Wednesday, 26 August 2009 21:20 |
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by Curt Gillespie, LISW, LPCC, LICDC The wisdom of children never ceases to amaze me. Recently, a six-year old boy was asked, “If you could have anything, what would that be?” His answer: “Not to have a million toys in my room.” I do believe adults could learn something from this little guy. For decades now, our society has become increasingly buy-happy. Necessity flew out the window long ago and was replaced with a “buy because I want it” mentality. While adults were busy over-filling their homes, garages, attics, closets, drawers, sheds and storage units with an excess of “stuff”, it seems they decided to get children in on the act. “I want” became the mantra, so excess and overindulgence became the norm. This “get whatever you want” mentality has done many children a great disservice. It has created children who do not know how to cope with disappointment nor deal with being told “no”. What happens when these children enter their teen years and adulthood? They find themselves unprepared to cope with the disappointments or negative aspects of life. Because of this, they may experience much deeper hurts and be more prone to choosing negative coping devices that can take them into a world of trouble and pain. Parents want their children to be happy. Many don’t realize that by overindulging a child, they are actually creating results opposite from their intentions. Children want structure, need to be taught boundaries, and have much more respect for parents who know how to say “no”. Happiness cannot be bought, and is not found in “stuff” or nonstop activity. It can only be found and fostered inside of oneself. To provide a child with the gift of happiness to last a lifetime, parents should: • Teach by example, and don’t make life “all about the children”. By taking care of your self, friendships and relationships, children will learn to do the same. • Spend quality time with your children on a regular basis, but not every waking moment. Give yourself and your children room to breathe. • Limit the electronics and don’t schedule constant activity. Allow children time to explore and create their own fun so they can discover who they are. • Don’t try to be perfect or expect your children to be perfect. Guide them, but allow them to learn by taking missteps and making mistakes. • Stay tuned in to what your children are seeing and hearing through books, songs, televisions, computers and movies. Messaging from outside sources can have a powerful effect on their lives. • Help them to distinguish right from wrong, and discipline in a non-threatening way. Set boundaries so they know what is acceptable and what is not. • Communicate openly and honestly. You can teach them respect by listening carefully to their thoughts and opinions. This is how they will learn to do the same for you. • Give children age appropriate responsibilities in the home. • Limit the amount of toys and games they are permitted to have. A child is easily overwhelmed by excess. • Show them, by example and with their involvement, the value of helping others. Why clutter a child’s world with an overabundance of stuff, when all they truly want are parents who care to guide, teach and take time to be with them. It is time society gets back to the basics. It is time to unclutter life. Curt Gillespie is Senior Vice President of Youth & Adult Services at Mental Health Services for Clark County, located at 1345 N. Fountain Boulevard in Springfield, OH; 937-399-9500; www.MHSCC.org Comments (0) |
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