What You’ve Told Us:

New Boyfriends - According to Maxine
I am seeing 5 gentlemen (give or take) every day!
As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed.
Then I go to see John.
Then Charlie Horse comes along, & when he's here, he takes up a lot of my time & attention.
When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up & stays the rest of the day.
He doesn't like to stay in one place very long so he takes me from joint to joint.
After such a busy day, I'm really tired & very glad to go to bed with Ben Gay.
What a life! Oh, yes, I'm also flirting with Al Zymer; or whatever his name is. I forget!
Now remember: Life is like a roll of toilet paper.....the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
So have fun, think 'good thoughts' only, learn to laugh at yourself, and 'count your blessings.

Kids Say the Funniest Things…
My Nephew said when he was young, as told by my sister…. She was warming up the car and my nephew was in his car seat.  There were dust particles floating through the sunshine in the windshield.  He then ask mom what are those things?  She answered him that they were dust particles.  He then said “par pickles” that’s the dumbest word I’ve ever heard. To this day our whole family thinks of him every time we see par-pickles…

Just Thoughts…

Fall down seven times, stand up eight." Old Japanese proverb.

How to Get Through Life - Sleep as much as you can - Read books that you enjoy - Play with simple things - Do what your passion is and you’ll never work a day in your life - Look for affection when you need it -Get serious once in a while - Forget about diets. - Show some affection - Above all, be happy - Regardless of what.   Have a great life!   May your troubles be less, your blessings more, and may nothing but happiness come through your door.

Woman and a Fork
There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things “in order,” she contacted her Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes.
She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in.
Everything was in order and the Pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her.
”There's one more thing,” she said excitedly.
“What's that?” the Pastor replied.
“This is very important,” the young woman continued. “I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand.”
The Pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say.
“That surprises you, doesn't it?” the young woman asked.
“Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request,” said the Pastor.
The young woman explained. “My grandmother once told me this story, and from that time on I have always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement. In all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, “Keep your fork.” It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming ... like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie.  Something wonderful and with substance!”
So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder 'What's with the fork?' Then I want you to tell them: Keep your fork ... the best is yet to come.
The Pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was coming.
At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket and they saw the cloak she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the Pastor heard the question, “What's with the fork?” And over and over he smiled. 
During his message, the Pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. He told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either.
He was right. So the next time you reach down for your fork let it remind you, ever so gently, that the best is yet to come.  Friends are a very rare jewel.  They make you smile and encourage you to succeed.  Cherish the time you have, and the memories you share. Being friends with someone is not an opportunity, but a sweet responsibility.  And just remember ... keep your fork! The BEST is yet to come!