Elizabeth Barret Browning asked, “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.” That classic line prompts me to consider some of the ways I have tried to express love to my valentine over our years together. Some of those ways really missed the mark.
We had been dating a few weeks and Christmas was drawing near.  I made a mental note when I overheard her saying that she needed a new winter coat.

It was beautiful! It was in her size. It was within my price range. Warm and furry and purple! It was perfect! I could hardly wait to see the look of delight on her face. She would open my “expertly wrapped” package and as she tried on this fake fur masterpiece, I knew she would throw her arms around me, bursting with gratitude for my sacrificial thoughtfulness!
I was positive she liked purple. What 70’s teenage girl didn’t love fur? True; she did tell me that I shouldn’t spend my money on that coat; but I thought she just didn’t want me to blow my meager bank account! Guess I should have saved my money. She hated it.
Then there was that Valentine’s Day when I splurged on a giant heart-shaped box of chocolates. What a delicious way to say, “I love you!” 
How did it slip my mind that she was having her wisdom teeth pulled that day? When she opened the door and I saw her swollen jaws, I suddenly remembered.  Chocolates and nitrous oxide don’t mix well!
It was her first birthday since our wedding vows. Though we were poverty stricken college students, I was determined that she would have a birthday cake.
While she was at work, Betty Crocker and I collaborated on a culinary creation that would make this celebration unforgettable for her. I was under a time crunch so as soon as the oven timer sounded, I plopped the freshly baked 9x12 spice cake on the counter and immediately began topping it with mouth-watering butter brickle icing!
To my dismay, the icing would not stay put! Spread upon the 350 degree surface the butter brickle streamed away from the center of the cake and left a bald spot reminiscent of a Friar Tuck haircut.
Later that evening, after she blew out the candles, I eagerly served her a piece of my gourmet delight. With her first bite, the grimace on her face told me I had struck out again. I figured that since she liked gingerbread, when I shopped for a cake mix, spice cake seemed like the closest thing on the shelves.  But I was wrong.  She appreciated the sincere effort but my cake soon grew stale.
How do I love thee? With a furry purple coat, a heart-shaped box of chocolates and a butter brickle birthday cake. As the old adage says, “It’s the thought that counts!”
The Bible commands husbands to “love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her.” (Ephesians 5:25) I have tried to do that since my wife and I first started dating back in 1971. This will be our 40th Valentine’s Day together! Not every expression of my love has been misguided. Sometimes I hit the target better than others.
But I suppose that is true of every relationship. When a flawed male and a flawed female become husband and wife, neither one loves perfectly. But it sure is fun to try! Keep on trying.